Shit Food Bloggers Say

Anonymous asked: These photos with a cake or other baked goods sitting on a chair. Why? Was the table full? Are they not worried about dogs or other varmits eating the lovely treats? Do they not own a table?

These people are hoarders. The chair is their sacred place of cleanliness, a temple of calm in the midst of their sickness. Every other inch of their homes is covered in filth. This is not a joke.

Remember, lighting is critical to a great Instagram, but what you crop out of the frame is nearly as important. Whenever you see food on chairs, you know there are dead puppies crushed under boxes of encyclopedias just to the left of the chair.